Philophobia

Before: Tho I wasn't diagnosed with this condition by a counselor or psychiatrist, It doesn't take a genius to see an obvious case of philophobia. The term can mean more than one thing. It just doesn't have to be based on the technical definition. I have recently decided that self-diagnosing myself as philophobia is far from false. Absolutely not. Too many incidences led for me to feel this way. Unfortunately, I have allowed the sin of fear to conquer my Christian walk lately. I have allowed inessential thoughts and "observations" to cloud my decision-making and allowed myself to feel defeated in a sense. Yes...The "Shoestrings Fighter"...felt defeated...I'm competitive. I'm not referring to a physical fight but a dumb fight with my flesh and spirit self.

For my readers, I feel like a hypocrite. Another reason why I been hard on myself. I despise crying when it's outside of conviction but I have been. I feel like a disappointment and foolish. I have improved on not showing how hurt I am externally but behind close doors.......smh...I'm dumb for allowing myself to be vulnerable. I took my eyes downward instead of allowing myself to be more aware of the ball coming my way. (For those that are just tuning in and are confused by that statement Please feel free to read my other blog "Now See What I see") I apologize to you all.

After: Notice I been saying allowing. I made the poor decision to let my guard down. I am not bitter nor angry. For a split second I was because I became frustrated BUT this morning I had an epiphany. I listened to two messages. "Can God Change Your Plans?" and "Encouraging Yourself". I learned that I need to focus on the good of people instead of the bad and I learned that I can't settle but remember that God has my best interest at heart. As Pastor Kenny Baldwin stated and I paraphrase, "If God tells you No, it's because he has an even stronger yes." Meaning that He may tell us No to something we may want or think is right but since He is the only one that truly has my back, His stronger YES is for something better he has in stored for me. It's up to me to follow His plans. So after listening to these messages, I found my glasses and was able to see a better perspective of things. I need to get over my fear and hand it over to God because I gotta STOP trying to control and dictate my future and allow God to work on me. Otherwise, He will chastise me until I get the point. I confused my chastisement for philophobia when I should view it as a change of plans. Do I make sense?? Do you get where I'm directing this?? Hope so. If not, please place your questions below.

I kept this blog 100 because I.Am.Shoestrings- This is me.

LuvALeighD aka Shoestrings

Jars and Mugs: 3 Pump It Up Parties and a Pumpkin Patch

Jars and Mugs: 3 Pump It Up Parties and a Pumpkin Patch: Being a mom is hard work! I love being a mother. I'd like to think that I am taking a good shot at being super mom, you know full time caree...

French 101 = YIKES

I attend college...and it seems like forever...I can't even see the light at the end of the tunnel lol. Unfortunately, due to financial difficulties, I had to wait to the last minute to purchase my class. Thank God for my mom that paid for it. "Happy Birthday" lol... So the classes that were on my curriculum were filled and I HAVE to take a class to stay employed. Well the only one available in the evening with decent time that won't interfere with bible study that I came across was FRENCH 101-for Beginners. How do you say in french: I rather speak spanish before french. Lol...lets look up Google Translate shall we hahahaha...now THAT'S faithful. Here goes ,"Je préfère parler espagnol que le français". The Pro in being in this course is being able to say that I know a little french...and I can identify what is being said when I read it. Cons-I have the most difficult time speaking it. Also, I have a poor habit of saying "Si'" Than "Oui" lol! ... don't get me wrong... french isn't THAAAAT BAD... but i have been so spoiled by spanish. That being said... Its time to study study study...Im determined to get a good grade in this class tho.

Au revoir

Watch What You Do! It will backfire

There is this guy at work that one day made it very obvious that he is interested in me. Well I shot him down in a "nice way" but unfortunately lied and said that "they call me Tracey" ...smh... I don't know why I did it. It just smoothly came out.

At the current moment, I am assisting in a "GEM Program" which is solely based on having great customer service. Well some of my duties are to collect the Nominations for "GEM of the Month" and sometimes I have to contact people that are involved in the nomination to be accurate for the Judge Panel. Well one week later after the encounter, I came into work this past Tuesday and saw a business card that wasn't his might I add, and he wrote on the back his Facebook name, home number, cell phone number, and the date of his "mixtape birthday party" ...???... which I already had declined on. Ofcourse my co-workers found it hilarious and either way I placed it in the recycle bin. Next day, as i was forced to read every nomination, I realized that he was nominated but the nominator didn't know his last name. My boss informed me that I had to go find out his last name and i realized... IT'S THE GUY! ...smh... Immediately I thought, See that's what you get! Now you're getting backfired.

FORTUNATELY, the cleaning lady forgot to get the recycle bin and I SEARCHED through those papers and found his card! YES! ::sigh of relief:: ...I still am able to dodge him. Regardless to say, I learned my lesson. ::smile:: ...Don't give a false name. Lol...

Have a great day All readers!
         Shoestrings.

Introducing Shoestrings

Hello All,
         This is my introduction blog about the silly, happy go lucky, love to laugh side of me! On this blog... everything will be based on situations that I come across. My Humor is my humor. If you fail to adapt then im sorry that you feel that way ;) ... So...that being said... I will start this post about how the nickname "Shoestrings" came about.

For years and years...I loved wearing tight jeans, sneaks, (sometimes heels as I aged), and whatever shirt that I felt flattered at that time. This was in my B.C. years...lol Before Christ... aka before I got saved. Well unfortunately, I also had a habit of wearing sneaks whose shoestrings were NEVER tied. It was a rare day and a day of celebration when my shoestrings were tied for 12hours straight. So One day i was 18 maybe 19 years old and I was walking home from work. The guys in the neighborhood always seen me walking and apparently one of the guys said, "Look at her. Her shoestrings never stay tied EVERY TIME I see her.... Aye Shoestrings!" I looked back and laughed because they were trying to be "funny" and other people I guess liked the name and found it funny as well. Now I've been called shoestrings for about 3 years. Now at the very moment... I very seldom wear sneaks...I don't wear pants sooo that wouldn't look pleasing lol...Now i wear flats and high heels buuut no matter what the shoe may be...they call me Shoestrings and I like it strangely.

So that being said... Hello, I.Am.Shoestrings.